Fitting in: "I want to be like you...Different!!"

“Ok, so this looks good”, I think looking at myself in the new dress, “just needs a little tucking in here and there.”  “This behavior is new…” the train of thoughts begins suddenly, as usual, “me… trying to fit my clothes to my body”. Most of the times it is me trying to fit into the clothes I got, thinking constantly about how much I need lose and from where in my body. I bet most of the people now days do the same, trying to fit into clothes that are made on standard scale. Not only clothes and shoes, the type of products we use each day are standardized and we are given a silent message to fit ourselves into them. If you can’t find a foundation that matches your skin tone YOU are at fault. If you can’t fit into a jeans size your friend is easily able to fit into, it is YOUR fault and you need to be embarrassed.

                     I know you all must be thinking that I don’t understand that a company cannot make clothes for every size out there. They need to make what the majority can wear and need not think about everyone. True, I am not blaming them. I just have this one small question for you all. Why are we embarrassed if we can’t fit into the ones made for majority? It’s not like everyone is the same. It’s not like we are all clones walking around. And that is not even my point J. I am here again talking about the twists and turns of life. Trying to understand life just a little better and this time the behavior of trying to FIT IN has held my focus.

                 We all know that human beings are social animals. We just cannot live alone. I have seen people who call themselves loners but then loners also get depressed if they don’t have even a single friend. We all need friends and family around us but why do we need approval of our friends or family. Why do we need them to think we are like them? Why do we need them to think we are not an outcast? Why do we try so hard to fit in? So you think you are not the one trying to fit in? Think about it… Have you ever kept something (it could be as small as a needle and as big as a bomb) a secret from your friends just because you don’t want them to judge you? It may be justified to you but you still think they wouldn’t give you their approval that’s why you didn’t tell them. Or have you ever tried to lose those last 5 pounds? Do five pounds really matter? Really? But everyone around you thinks you are fat.. or worse YOU think you are fat because of all the models and celebrities you see. Isn’t this trying to be like someone else? Is this appreciating what you have and who you are? Is accepting yourself as you are? Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? It’s a human dilemma, we all want to be different, extraordinary and we all also just want to fit in with everyone around us.

                 We all were made different, even if our physiques match. Even clones tend to have different personalities. But then we are all trying to be the same. We are all trying to follow the same trends and trying to be generic. We're so quick to cut away pieces of ourselves to suit a particular relationship, a job, a circle of friends, incessantly editing who we are until we fit in. Instead of making changes in the society we are changing ourselves to fit into the society. Just like instead of getting a dress tailored for us we are trying to get ourselves tailored for the dress. Society has always mocked people who stood out and did not fit in, be it bullying in high school, friends commenting on your weird dressing or thinking, or people around you getting annoyed by your way of questioning everything. We live inside a box and think that people who don't fit into our box are weird.  Instead of trying to Fit it, let us just be ourselves and Fit out, even when people insist that we have to change. Let’s take up space, not apologize for ourselves, and not agree with those who seek to label us with stereotypes. Legends are not those who always tried to fit in. If I were to write a book about someone I would not see what he did that was exactly like the people around him but I would write about how he was different, how he stood out in the crowd. But then let’s not forget morality. Doing something just to please someone and get his/her approval, is bad but doing something that’ll end up hurting someone is worse. Be different, but don’t just be selfish and irresponsible. There’s a thin line between breaking rules and breaking hearts. Don’t be afraid to break rules to follow your heart but never…and I repeat it… NEVER break hearts and hurt people around you.

                   Every human being is different and special in his own ways and no one needs to judge him for what he is. Everyone should be able to live exactly how he was made and not by losing his true self in trying to fit into millions of things around him.  Life is not about fitting in, it is about standing out!! Let’s not forget, in the end we're all misfits here… because this is called living… because this is called life!!