Monday, September 20, 2010

LOVE Actually....

Note: Before starting with the post, I would like to thank my friend Twinkle (name changed), for her story which is the basis of my post this time. Love is a sensitive issue. Whatever I have written here are my own views and that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone has to agree. Just read and let me know of any love story you feel worth mentioning. *******************************************************************************

The past: So she was in love, madly, as we say. She had been with this guy for like four or four and a half years. He was not the best, but for her he was everything. She loved him more than everything and cared for him even more than she cared for herself. And now they had broken up. Reason? He didn’t care. After four years of relationship he didn’t even care if she was alive. All he cared was his life and his career and his friends and even his sleep but not her. He was a perfect case of “single in the head” guy. He used to flirt with other girls and even insulted twinkle every now and then. In short he gave absolutely no respect to Twinkle. He always talked about breaking up but as soon as she tried to breakup with him, he used to start showering his love and care upon her. May be because he knew that no one would ever love him as much as she does, or may be he didn’t want to get blamed for breaking up. Hoping he would change this time she always gave him a last chance and this went on for one long year after which she finally decided to cut the rotten thumb off and accept the sudden pain for a short span of time in order of getting rid of the constant pain for life…

The present: One and a half year has passed since the day she left him. And she seems to be over him. She has dated a few guys since then but as soon as things start to get even a bit serious she stops seeing that guy. I had a chance to talk to her over this thing. Upon asking the reason she said, “I don’t want a future like my past.”

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired”, I read somewhere. True up to some extent. But why does one want to be loved in turn?? The answer to this question is beyond my knowledge. Why does love fade away?? Why do couples break up? “Break up” isn’t it the perfect phrase for the situation. A couple is one single piece and they can’t be separated without breaking. What do we mean when we say the term “True love” Is there any false love?? And if it’s false or pretentious, is it really Love??
Love as I know of, is always true. It’s the purest form of emotion. Love doesn’t mean getting attracted towards the opposite gender. That’s infatuation. Love comes when we start caring and when things happening to other person start to matter to us and have an impact on us. Love happens when we least expect it. But beware; to love is to open your heart to someone and to give her/him the power to change you. She/he might change you for the good or for the bad. To accept this change is to love. Commitment is what Love is. After sometime, when we finally realise that this is the person I want to be with, when I grow old…only then can we say that Love exists. In India there’s a trend of arranged marriages. Although I guess that majority of people reading this post are strong believers of love marriages, still I would like to mention that arranged ones are a big success. Not because of the love and compatibility (that happens in just 10% cases) but because of the compromise each of the partner is willing to make. Accepting the fact that we are going to live with a stranger for the rest of our life is a scary thought and if someone is willing to accept that, I don’t think, unless there’s some major problem in the marriage, it will fall apart… for me and many like me the answer to such thinking is “NO, Thanks”.
Being in love is a wonderful feeling… One smile from a loved one is enough to ease all the pain and tensions. One kiss on the forehead is enough to say I care for you the most. One hug is enough to say you are my life and I missed you. Being in love doesn’t mean that our partner is perfect or we are perfect, it means that we are willing to be the way he/she wants. Love is unconditional. Love is irrational. Love is divine. Yes, I live in a dreamy world where everyone is in love with someone. Where there’s just Love in everyone’s heart so that there’s absolutely no place left for hatred. And I wish we all try to live in the same dreamy world. Hating is not an emotion. It’s just the absence of Love. Just like darkness is the absence of light. Let’s fill our hearts with the light of love. Let’s take this one step in healing the world. Making it just a little better.
Coming back to Twinkle, She knows what love really means. But her experience has scared her. She’s scared to let anyone inside her heart again and to give him power over it. Will she always be like this?? No. Time will heal her. Love will find its way into her heart again. When she finds that one person who really cares for her and who is willing to accept the challenge to make her come out of the walls she has built around her heart, she’ll fall in love again. She’ll again start to trust someone to make him the first priority in her life. She’s waiting and I wish her wait ends soon. I wish she finds Love actually....